Pretti Random Thoughts

I smiled today - like all day on the ride to work.... ...while at work after work while sipping 'buck with the girlies... just..smiled And it felt so good. The best part is - it didn't depend on another human. =)

So this is it...the last pieces. ..and yes, they went in the trash. I've decided this will be the last entry I dedicate to her. I am wasting precious time & energy on a subject that frankly - is exhausting. Besides, I am pretty close to 100 percent sure the same energy is NOT being spent on her end. This is not to say I will not still silently mourn the loss of my love.. it's to say I will do just that - but in silence . So with that being said, tomorrow's entry will be about something wonderous ....just not sure what that thing is as of yet. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference . good night, lovelies! xo

So, I've been asked the same question 4 times today - "If she reaches out, be it via email, call, etc - would you talk to her?" For me, there is no easy answer to that question. My inner bitch screams " NO NO NO NO NO! " while my inner punk yells " YES YES YES YES YES! " ( Destiny's Child, much? ) . It would be very easy to me to sit here & lie...but what good would that do any of us?!? I think I would only talk to her because I have questions that she alone holds the answers to. I need to express to her all the things I've spent days expressing to my sisters & best friends. It's very easy for everyone to tell me to let it go....but less easy for me to actually do so. I'm aware of the fact that the chances of me ever getting this " closure" are slim to none - and that I will eventually (sooner than later, of course) in fact have NO choice but to let it go. So, I've been filling my hours & days with lots of s...

So this morning, I received the quintessential " It's not you, it's me" break-up EMAIL. Yes, lovelies, I said email. I got an email because " I didn't want any problems such as you walking off or something like that". *insert cricket noise here* Lemme just start by saying that I am in NO way trying to portray that I was completely innocent - quite the contrary, actually. I have my ways that have driven even the strongest person to pick up the bottle and hold it close to their souls. I did my part in the demise of this "relationship". Mr. Noah Webster defines relationship as " a romantic or passionate attachment." - neither of with ( in retrospect) - we had. Don't get me wrong, people - I loved her...wait. I love her. Yet - love is not the glue that binds . There is also communication, trust, honesty, and a willingness to BEND. These, lovelies are the things that were non-existent on one or both ends. I'm not going to disclos...